I cannot believe how quickly time has moved on this project, how much I have accomplished, and how much I have left to do. When I started this process, I was overwhelmed, to say the least. Every decision felt enormous, and I had no idea how to gauge whether or not a spending decision would be the right one. What if I bought a theme and it turned out not to work? What if I got a tablet and it turned out the drawings were awful? What if I promote the site and no one reads it anyway? Eventually, I kept reminding myself, and having Liz remind me, why I was given the funds in the first place: to take a risk.
A few things I know for certain have paid off:
- I love the writing. I’ve turned in blog posts for my independent study that have been longer than anything else I’ve written at Davidson except one semester long paper. I’ve spent ages digging into topics because I am determined to think everything through carefully and from as many angles as possible. I’m definitely going to keep writing post-graduation, and I’m really looking forward to it.
- The kindle-drawings work. Am I the best artist? Absolutely not. But I’ve decided that the look I ended up with, which I refer to as my “snarky kindergartener aesthetic,” works for the mood and tone of the blog, and I think will definitely grab people’s attention. I definitely plan to continue that as well.
- I pushed myself. Deciding to take on this project was scary in its own way, and new things are cropping up to frighten me in new ways. I had to get past second-guessing everything I wrote, and wondering if I had the authority to be speaking to these concepts. Yes, I do. I had to get past feeling like I needed to be certain about everything before trying anything. I remain certain about nothing, and I’ve accepted it. Now I’m working on the fear of backlash on my posts. Anything controversial on social media can get so ugly, and the more attention I bring to this website the more criticism I invite on my writing and my self. The old doubts about whether I am smart enough, educated enough, knowledgeable enough, are creeping in, and I’m afraid of what people will say. But I started this blog with a mission to educate and I won’t let fear get in the way of that either.
Moving forward, I will be using the remaining funds to advertise on social media and to pay people to edit posts and help create images as I split my focus a little more between generating content and attracting readers. I am really excited to see where this blog can go.